Hello, and welcome to No Effort November!
A series of videos for the month of November where no effort is made.
Today’s video is about a microwave oven.
Have you ever felt like innovation in microwave oven technology
has simply stagnated over the last twenty years?
Even in the age of the smartphone,
about the most interesting things we’ve seen come to the designer microwave oven space
are Alexa integration so that Amazon can collect yet more data about consumer habits
and these weird slim ones that are kinda popular for some reason.
I mean, sure it’s way less practical but think of the style!
But for the most part your standard microwave oven isn’t all that different from the
standard microwave oven of twenty or even thirty years ago.
Almost universally they contain a small microcontroller hooked up to a basic keypad and display
for a user interface, and why not make that a clock while you’re at it
because you never know who might not have enough clocks in their kitchen.
The microcontroller then controls, in a micro fashion, the functiona of the magnetron
and its associated circuitry,
the turntable or moving waveguide (some microwaves have one of those),
and of course the little lightbulb. All based upon the user’s inputs, of course.
When it’s done bombarding your foodstuffs with radiation
it will then beep at you, typically loudly enough to wake a sleeping person,
thus honing the skill of stopping the microwave with one second left
in hangry teens the world over.
But why be so basic?
Sure, many microwaves have sensors, most commonly designed to detect steam,
which help automate some cooking functions.
Seriously if you haven’t discovered the sensor reheat function on your microwave - you’re missing out.
But in most cases, that sensor can’t help with too many things.
After all, different foods heat differently, and without some sort of database to reference information
on how different foods cook in the microwave and the ability to tell the microwave exactly what it is that you’re cooking,
well the sensor can only be so useful.
Wait a minute, though.
That sounds ridiculously easy to implement in 2020.
Heck, that was easy enough to implement in 1997!
So Sharp did.
This is the Sharp Carousel Multiple Choice.
The best microwave oven ever made.
Yep, here I go again talking about kitchen appliance design that peaked decades ago.
But in this we have yet more proof!
Toasters peaked in the 1940’s, microwaves, though, in the 90’s.
Sure, the design isn’t as timeless as the impeccable Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster,
but boy did they pack a lot of features into this white sheet metal box.
For a start, the user interface is radically different from microwaves both contemporary to its time and now.
Why settle for simple seven segment or, maybe, alphanumeric displays when you could have
DOT MATRIX?
Its large display combines with buttons on its side and below to provide an intuitive
menu system for its various functions.
And did the designers have fun with that display?
You bet!
Just look what happens when you plug it in.
Delightful.
When in use, the time-remaining display takes the form of a giant animated hourglass,
because why not?
And my personal favorite, the popcorn setting actually shows an animation of popping corn.
What’s not to love?
Ah, the nineties.
You truly were the teal, pink, and purple best.
Anyway, aside from the sheer novelty of a dot-matrix display with a mature menu system
in a microwave from the mid-nineties, there’s a lot of smarts included, too.
Now, to be fair, lots of microwaves have *some* ability to cook or reheat things automatically.
There’s often a chart inside the door which shows you different settings for each category,
and you may very well have a few dedicated buttons for certain things.
But this takes it to the next level.
There are dozens of options for things you can cook with this, from potatoes
(white or sweet),
to bacon, to squash (winter or summer),
eggs all these ways (with instructions, as well),
and even artichokes!
And they all work excellently.
See, it’s not particularly difficult to program automation into a microwave oven
with just a single humidity sensor for feedback.
Let’s use popcorn as an example.
After all, microwave popcorn is so important it almost always gets its own button, even here.
When you use the popcorn button, much to the chagrin of many bags of popcorn,
the microwave starts out by simply running its fans for a set period of time.
The magnetron isn’t powered thus cooking isn’t occurring, and it uses this period to clear out any moisture
near the sensor and establish a baseline reading.
After this step, it switches on the magnetron and watches the sensor.
[clunk and 60hz buzz as magnetron powers on]
[pitch of fans falls as the magnetron pulls voltage down]
A bag of microwave popcorn typically stays sealed for a while as it starts to pop,
so the sensor won’t see a change,
but eventually the pressure builds and the bag’s seal bursts. [low poof sound]
A cloud of steam exits the bag which the sensor will pick up right away.
Now here comes the fun part.
The microwave can use a lookup table to estimate the remaining cooking time based upon how long it took for the bag to burst.
A smaller bag of popcorn will start popping faster and thus the steam sensor will read steam sooner,
and a larger bag of popcorn will take more time to pop so it takes longer to see the steam.
All you need is the time between magnetron switch-on and steam detection
to have a solid idea of how much longer it needs to finish popping.
And this works so well that you can throw nearly any bag of popcorn of any size in this microwave
and it will always completely pop and never burn.
No guesswork needed.
Many microwave ovens have popcorn buttons which are, to put it nicely, bullshirt.
If your microwave wants you to tell it how big the bag of popcorn is,
well then it’s probably not using a sensor for anything and instead got the lazy treatment
of pre-programmed times based on the inputted weight.
This is precisely why you are told not to use the popcorn button,
however microwaves do still exist with proper sensor-cooking for popcorn.
Samsung models seem to do it fairly well, at least in my limited sample size of two.
But anyway, you can apply this logic to virtually any food item you can imagine.
All it takes is some experimentation, categorization, and creation of lookup tables.
Do this for each kind of food you want to make a one-touch option and you’ll have true automatic cooking.
And again, it’s not like no microwaves on sale today can do some forms of auto-cooking,
but I don’t know of any mainstream models that are as versatile as this one,
let alone as easy to use.
Each auto-setting is one touch, and if there are any special instructions
they’re right there waiting for you.
And lest you think this is just dressed-up pre-programmed timers, it’s not.
I didn’t just happen upon this microwave, this belonged to my grandparents who bought it new.
And my grandmother used its automatic functions extensively, and they never failed.
Her favorite use was a potato.
Throw in a raw potato - any potato - and it’ll come out perfectly cooked.
Every time.
Oh, and it’s not just cooking until it sees steam like for popcorn.
Depending on the item it cooks, it can cycle the magnetron at different power levels
to achieve the best results it can.
I’m sure there are some settings in here which don’t work too well, but
they’re few and far between.
Truly I don’t know why this isn’t just, like, standard fare in microwaves these days.
This tech surely ain’t new.
Not at all.
Of course, there are some nifty Internet of Things ideas floating around
like a steamer/toaster oven which can scan the barcode of a food item,
consult a cloud-based database on how to cook it,
and then cook it for you.
It looks like this is bleeding into the microwave space, too, but for outrageous prices.
And, yeah, that’s a neat idea, sure, but there’s a lot you can do with just a basic sensor and a bit of read-only memory.
This microwave proves it without a doubt.
And of course, it won’t be bricked in three years when the startup behind it inevitably folds.
Ah but we’re not done with the things this just does better.
You haven’t heard it yet.
Pressing buttons doesn’t just give you a basic beep for feedback, oh no.
You get this:
[soft, decaying tones with button presses; a double higher-tone when stop/clear is pressed.
Sophistication.
Pressing start brings you this:
[quick ascending arpeggio]
And best of all, when it’s done?
♫ a delightful melody ♫
Now, for those of you who hate fun, you can revert to a more basic beep in the settings menu.
Or even turn off sound altogether.
But yeah, you think your new washing machine is trailblazing with its little "I’m finished" melody?
Nuh uh, Sharp was way ahead on that one.
And because someone at Sharp thought “why not?”
there’s entire recipes inside this microwave for you to try.
Many are accompanied with an illustration, and of course a fun little melody.
♫ doot de doo doo bedoo ♫
My personal favorite recipe is the Kid’s Cooking recipe for Blue Jigglies.
Gonna make some delicious Blue Jigglies.
Very kid-friendly.
Really that’s really a recipe for euphemisms if I ever saw one.
Don’t google that.
It’s even got ratatouille in here, how fancy!
Seriously, though, this is pretty neat.
They’re designed to be followed step-by-step, and at each step it will run the microwave
for either a predetermined period of time or even use the sensor.
Now this is absolutely gimmicky, but there is a definite flair of “smart appliance” that, honestly,
seems a lot smarter than many of the so-called smart appliances you can buy today.
I mean, like I said, look at microwaves for sale in a home improvement store.
None of them are as advanced as this one.
As far as I’m concerned, the only true innovation in microwaves between when this was made and today
is Panasonic’s use of an inverter to drive the magnetron at lower power levels,
rather than just cycle it on and off at varying duty cycles like most including this one do.
But that’s a pretty niche benefit all things considered.
Now, if you’re wondering why I have my grandma’s old microwave, well let me tell ya.
Really, it’s all down to that little ditty it does.
I have fond memories of visiting Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas or Thanksgiving
and hearing this microwave announce its doneness in the most pleasant and fun way.
When they moved to a new home with an over-the-stove microwave situation,
well I called dibs.
And truthfully I don’t use this because I’m in the same microwave-over-the-stove situation, and luckily what I have is decent enough.
So for now it’s a spare, but I still absolutely marvel at how advanced this thing is.
I do have a few quibbles, though.
Like, for instance, the number pad.
No. Do not-
Do not do thi -
You hear me designers?
Do not do this.
Everything should either be calculator or phone arrangement, don’t try and break that mold,
OK?
Seriously, entering a time is annoying.
Also, the display itself is rather dim, though I suppose some of that could be down to age.
This was plugged in and lit up for nearly 20 years straight, after all.
Also, I think it would have been better to make the clock more dominating on the screen,
rather than just shove it in the corner.
Especially because it dims the screen when idle.
Not that everybody needs another clock to set, though.
Plus it does show you the date, that's kinda nice.
And also, to be sure, the design hasn’t aged all that well in general.
Swoopy shapes have gone the way of the dodo
- a particularly swoopy bird -
and white appliances as a whole are kinda not in at the moment.
Plus, of course, it’s yellowing a bit. One of the main reasons I suspect white appliances are kinda over.
Stainless steel and black may be cold but it’ll be nice and cold forever.
But anyway, I remain perplexed at why this design has remained so obscure.
I imagine that many people just don’t use their microwave’s auto functions,
as after all many frozen meals will have special preparation instructions and after enough trial and error you’ll figure stuff out for yourself.
But I do wonder if people would be more inclined to use the automatic functions if they weren’t so cryptic.
I mean, consulting a chart inside the door isn’t the most user-focused design.
And like, it’s 2020.
Full color LCD panels cost like $2.
Why most microwaves are stuck to seven-segment displays is beyond me.
And hey, this microwave proves that it doesn’t need to be connected to the Internet, OK?
Being online does not a smart appliance make.
I’d call this smarter than all but the most absurdly priced microwaves,
and heck it still might work better than this Scan-To-Cook technology.
If you put the ingenuity in at the time of manufacture,
well you won’t need to worry about updates. [definitely-not-added-in-post notification sound]
Ope, looks like there’s a firmware update for my light bulbs again,
better get on that!
♫ multiplicatively smooth jazz ♫
Hey there, I’ll be exploring some more of this microwave's features (and also its quirks)
more casually on the second channel.
There’ll be links in all the places but for now, le bloops.
...in the age of the smartphone, about the most interesting thing we’ve seen come to the designer microwave oven space -
things. Already!
About the most interesting thing we’ve s… things!
I forgot the s… again!
And they always worked. Her favorite… nah nuh, never failed.
Don’t change the words!
You wrote the script, you proofread it, why are you changing the words as you read it?
You doofus.
Gonna make some delicious blue jigglies.
Very fred… fred?
Fred kindley.
"Hi, I’m Fred Kindley."
In seriousness though, this is p… in seriousness though this... in seriousness though thi....
In seriousness.
Why did I write that?
Just look at microwaves for sale in a home improvement store.
None of them are as advsvsvvsvsvsvsvs.
[clears throat] well this line’s taking forever.
Don’t google that.
It evens got.
Oh shoot.
It’s even got…
it evens gots ratatouille!
I am beyond mad at myself.
Why?
Because this microwave oven truly is Automatic Beyond Belief and I DIDN'T WRITE THAT IN THE SCRIPT
how could I be so careless?
I No Effort Novemebered myself.